the beautiful exchange

The more that I grow towards the Father's heart, the less this world makes any sense to me. 

But with that comes an overwhelming temptation to fit in and make sense to the world. 

It's a constant tug-of-war between my spirit wanting more of Jesus but my flesh wanting this earth at the same time. 

One of the hardest things for me is what others think-- especially concerning my faith. I often worry that people think I'm "just a little over the top" or "super religious girl" or "weirdly committed to God". Even as I type those words I'm laughing at myself, fully aware of how silly that sounds. I'm not called to please people, I'm not called to alter my beliefs for anyone, I'm not called to keep my faith silent, and I'm definitely not called to make one ounce of sense to this world... In fact, I'm called to quite the opposite. 

This world should look at us Christians and think we're crazy, totally over the top, and way different than the norm. That is a mark that not many are willing to accept. That's because going to church, serving in ministry, and reading your Bible occasionally are still considered normal to the world. But what if we actually selflessly loved the people in our everyday lives, accepted inconveniences with joy, sacrificed great things that everyone assumes they're entitled to, spoke out about Jesus more than we talked about anything else, and stepped out in faith with no answer on how it would end up? 

Many people in the Church would call this "radical", but isn't this just what Jesus calls "Christian"?

Recently I heard a great message preached about this by a good friend of mine. He explained that the more of grace we experience, the more we will naturally worship in everything that we do/say/think/live.

Grace is a beautiful experience of our hearts, but earth is a beautiful experience to our eyes and bodies.

Grace goes beyond our earthly beings and that's why it fulfills eternally.

Earthly pleasure is immediate and good for a moment, but it doesn't go any further than that moment.

The only GOOD that comes from earthly pleasure/sin/toil/fun is in the exact moment that it's happening. Afterwards, follows a hollow heartbeat and usually a large chip of guilt on your shoulder.

 Whereas, the goodness of God may not be as immediate to our eyes, it's a  process of beauty that creates an eternal relationship over time.

The hardest choices I've had to make in my journey with Jesus are ones that require the most of me and pull me farther away from making sense to this world. We are called to identify the things that are in the way of us and Jesus, and not just "work on them", but S A C R I F I C E them wholeheartedly to the Father. They can be things like our careers, our friends, our egos, our time, our comfort, our plans, etc. 

Giving up what we have always known, for what we don't know.

Giving up what feels good, for what feels painfully empty.

Giving up what makes sense, for what seems to have no answer. 

Giving up what our flesh craves, for what Jesus calls us to do. 

But if we have truly tasted the goodness of the Father and experienced His grace in our hearts, nothing is actually a sacrifice. Slowly, we begin to view our "sacrifices" as opportunities to gain more of Jesus. The subtraction of earth becomes an addition of the Father in our heart.  Loss of earth is a gain of Heaven. Anytime a loss is involved, there will be discomfort and there will be pain. 

It is a reflection of what Jesus did for us on the Cross. His flesh cried out to God with fear; what made SENSE to the world was to plead innocent and escape this unjust death... but what made sense to Heaven was the opposite, and Jesus trusted that spoken promise although it was unseen. 

When God calls you and I to forfeit something or someone for His sake, it's not to punish you or make you miserable.... every single thing He calls us towards and away from is for the purpose of bringing us closer to Himself. He fuels purpose in every painful, teeth-gritting "No" we give to the world and promises another piece of who HE is in exchange. 

And it's always worth it.

Oh, so worth it.

a promise written with stars

The Old Testament is filled with story after story of God making promises that seem impossible, people doubting-- but obeying and trusting Him anyway, an array of roadblocks and detours that make the promise appear hopeless, and finally God not only coming through on His promise, but blowing their minds and exceeding their biggest expectations.

It is one of God's tools that help sustain our faith. When God plants a vision, instills a dream, speaks to your heart, or makes you a promise, it's not a question of IF, it's a question of WHEN. If we attempt to figure out the HOW, we'll make ourselves go insane. The point isn't the HOW, or even the WHEN, it's the journey getting there.

 [[It's the sleepless nights in the Fathers' arms, it's the peaceful moments of worship with the Creator of the universe, it's the chaos and confusion of appearing hopelessness staring you in the face, it's the cries of desperation out to Him, it's the quiet stillness that won't leave your soul despite the raging storms of circumstance, it's the tear-filled runs at the park into the sunset, and it's the undeniable goodness and reality of Himself that he stamps in every moment of your day.]]

He cares way more about YOU and intimately knowing YOU than about where He's leading you to. His main focus isn't the dream He's given you or even the promise He's made, it's YOU. As long as He can get closer to your heart, the rest is irrelevant. If we truly believe He's leading us towards heaven and away from earth, why do we act as if earth is our final destination? His heart should always be our finish line.

Just about all the people God uses for extraordinary things in the Bible have a major thing in common: they were walking in close fellowship with God. They didn't have Master's degrees or millions of dollars. They were just walking with Him.

I love in Genesis 15 when Abraham begs God to somehow give him just ONE son; and rather than God giving Him one son, He leads him outside under the blanket of stars (which were probably more amazing than we could ever know because there wasn't electricity yet) and He says: "Look up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That's how many descendants you will have!"

How genius of God to speak to Abraham through an inescapable and constant reminder: THE SKY
Even if he wanted to, he could never forget the promise God spoke to him that night.

God knows our hearts desires, and He isn't just going to fulfill them, He plans to exceed them. 

But notice that God doesn't tell Abraham HOW or WHEN, He just promises He WILL.
We ought to respond in faith the same way... not knowing HOW or WHEN we can trust, just knowing we WILL.

Read Romans 4:16-25. "Even when there was NO reason for hope, Abraham kept hoping-- believing that he would become the Father of many nations"..."Abraham's faith did not weaken, in fact, it grew stronger"... "He was fully convinced that God is able to do whatever he promises". 

And guess what? God fulfilled His promise. And not only were Abraham's descendants ranking high numbers matching the star count, but the Savior of humanity-- Jesus-- was one of those descendants.

Let this encourage you wherever you find yourself at in life. Whatever promise, dream or vision God gave you yesterday, last year, or ten years ago, He hasn't forgotten. He WILL fulfill it and exceed your expectations. So even when there's no visible or tangible reason for hope, remember His past faithfulness... Let that be your written proof of tangible hope. He's never failed and He isn't going to start with you now. Accept the limitations of today and stop fighting to know your tomorrow. Walk with Him TODAY, and let Him do the rest.

His specialty is the impossible and most hopeless case, so let Him take over from here. 

irreversibility reversed

r e d e m p t i o n.

"the act of saving something or someone from appearingly irreversible decline." -Webster

In the Hebrew text, this word was used to mean "deliver, restore, rescue, or buy back" from slavery or death.

We hear the phrase "redeem yourself" thrown around all the time on ESPN, with friends after an embarrassing moment, or even just a stupid mistake.

Essentially, this word is the act of returning to the good and beauty that once WAS, despite the chaotic disaster it has BECOME... I know I can look back over my past and see so many choices that held the ability to blossom into something great and life-giving, that instead I let spiral into something death-inviting.

How often I've found myself asking:
"How did I get here?"
"How will I ever get out of this?"
"Will this ever change or go away?"

Redemption looks the least possible in the darkest places. In the most hopeless places. Those places we hate revisiting because they're so painful and shameful. Those places we are positive could NEVER be renewed or made into something good. The solution would seem to be to just accept it and continue or do everything possible to get rid of it.

But Jesus chooses a different solution. He chooses to r e d e e m.
To turn the hopeless pain of our yesterdays into the uncontainable beauty of our tomorrows.

The 3rd definition by Webster of redemption is literally "the atonement for human sin by Jesus Christ on the Cross." Talk about "appearingly irreversable decline"... We were DEAD, hopeless, cut off from the Light, swallowed up by the grave, and drowning in our sin... and Jesus took our appearingly irreversible decline to hell and turned it into an unconditional, irreversible stamp of our salvation. Even by using a CROSS-- the Roman symbol of death, Jesus redeemed that appearingly irreversable image into an unchanging, irreversible image of LIFE.

He bought us back. He sold Himself so that we could be restored.
If He can redeem the condition of our souls, He can redeem anything.
From the trees in my backyard that have died, to the past behind me that seems irreversible.

If you find yourself a slave to a moment in your past, Jesus has bought that moment back.
You can't pretend like it's not there, but you can let Him redeem it.
If you find yourself a slave to an addiction, Jesus has bought your freedom.
You can't continue in it because it seems hopeless to change, but you can let Him redeem it.

What appears irreversably declining in your life right now?
Your past? A situation? A relationship? A memory? An addiction?

Let Him buy your irreversible hopelessness with HIS irreversible grace.


[[Because I believe in the God who brings the dead back to life and creates new things out of nothing]] Romans 4:17


redeemed.

Scars for Stories

The first of every month is hands down my favorite day out of the month.

It's like automatic J O Y and H O P E.

Nothing screams "new beginnings" like the number one.

It's never too late to start over and honestly, it doesn't have to be the 1st of any month to do that.

But it's a beautiful reminder to me that it's possible, and that none of us are ever too "used up" or "screwed up" to be brand new. To be healed and redeemed.

God loves to put those reminders everywhere.

Not just in 12 "firsts" of each month, but in 365 sunrises of each year, in the way that nature withers away but regrows again bright and beautiful, with each new season of weather, and especially with His relentless grace that chases me down every minute of every day.

All of creation echoes His praise, but all of His glory echoes our names.

His design was intentional to show us His heart.
But also, to prove His heart for us.

Examine any aspect of time, nature, or this universe, and you will find a parallel to God's plan to redeem us... to bring life to decay... to bring hope to the darkest places... to create beauty from ashes.

To make whole what was shattered.

He specializes in h e a l i n g.

Do you have those places that the second you drive past them, step foot onto them, or even just think of them, your heart floods with intense pain? Of the memories made there-- good or bad. The people who hurt you there. The past that seems to haunt you every time you are near it. Well if you know what I'm talking about, maybe you're like me, and you completely avoid those places at every cost.

But God is teaching me to do something quite the opposite of avoiding them. In order for any wound to heal, it has to come in direct contact with the Healer.
If you cut your knee open, you have to wash it out with soapy water, and that hurts worse than the initial cut. Putting pressure on your bleeding knee is more painful than what made it start bleeding.

But our wounds hurt the deepest when they're closest to the Healer. That's because He is cleaning, He is renewing, He is transforming, He is redeeming, and He is restoring.

For me, home is where the majority of those wounds are. And rather than me running from them, I've decided to go to them with the Healer, and let Him make NEW what has been shattered.

Rest assured, the finished product will always be more beautiful than before the wound. It will be different, but it will be stronger.  Let your scars be your story.

Let the healing process bring you even closer to the Healer.

It's a process, and it's painful.
But it's freeing.
And it's healing.
And if today you don't get it right, there are literally infinite chances for a new beginning tomorrow.

Actually, there's one right now.

Hosea 6:2-3
"In just a short time He will restore us, so that we may live in His presence. Oh, that we might know the Lord. Let us press on to know Him, He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn, of the coming of rains in early Spring."