It is well with my soul.

My heart has been facing so much hesitation.

Fear of sacrifice and fear of inadequacy like to creep their way into my head little by little and before I know it, I find myself doubting.

But WHAT IF God really doesn't love me, or want GOOD for me?
But WHAT IF nothing works out?
But WHAT IF I'm not ready?
But WHAT IF I lose this or this or that or this?
And then my heart feels like it's spiraling out of control and I feel consumed with hopeless doubts.

WHOAHHHHHH there, Hannah.... God never hesitates, He only initiates. 

Anything He initiates, you better believe He will  f i n i s h.

With all this chaos I was pushing away in the deep places of my heart, I craved some kind of relief. So I went to church to worship. Worship always kicks my heart back in place to where God first intended it to be: focused on Him.

I was standing there praying for God to speak, and the words echoed throughout the church:
             "It is well with my soul"

Tears filled my eyes as I felt  P  E  A  C  E. . .

Jesus, wherever, whenever, or however long, I will go. I TRUST YOU.  It is well with my soul.

I was reminded that anything I am afraid of "losing" is never worth keeping if I don't end up gaining more of Jesus.

As long as I have Him, everything else is irrelevant.


But, Lord, it's for You, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.