Sometimes the fear of what I will miss out on keeps me in a phase of hesitation towards Africa...
Little things I love like hot showers after long runs. Or ice cream cones. Or the friends I'll leave behind.
The list is much longer than that. Some things are silly like ice cream but some are more serious like relationships.
These comforts and things I love and hold tightly to are so little on the big scale of eternity... But sometimes they feel so heavy that they turn into fear which leads to doubt.
But God has been whispering something into my heart recently...
I am made for so much more than the average and comfortable life. I have one life on earth and I can use it however I choose. I'm deciding to live it with and FOR Jesus. I will give justice to the oppressed and rescue the afflicted. I will wash the feet of the dirty and give hope to the broken. I surrender the things I cannot see and the pain I cannot change. I want God MORE. More than comfortable, more than a husband, more than easy, more than a known future, more than answers, more than anything.
And I can't gain without a sacrifice..... He sacrificed EVERYTHING for me, surely I can give up nothing less.
As God continues to give me a heart for J U S T I C E, these things I hold onto seem less and less important.
Saving a life and spreading His hope far outweighs me getting something I "want".
And what's even more beautiful? As I follow His plan and surrender my own, He WILL give me the desires of my heart. Because He will make my heart more like HIS. And THAT, is what I need.
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