Lately, I have had SO much happening and going on in both my life and my heart that I have been too overwhelmed to write about any of it...
Pain, heartbreak, discouragement, betrayal, sin, and a whole lot of tears.
I would often think, "I should write about this." But then before I'd let myself consider the thought, I'd interrupt myself with: "You can NOT tell people that!!!"
I have this issue of letting people see my weakness and being transparent with my brokenness.
Because I'm strong gosh dangit! I don't need people who will just hurt me to help me with my issues. I can handle it..... Right?
God reminded me as I've come so close to the bottom yet again today: w r o n g.
It is IN my weakness that I have any strength at all.
It is IN my weakness that He can come invade my heart with who He is.
It is IN my weakness that I am able to grow.
It is IN my weakness that I'm reminded how much I NEED Him.
It is IN my weakness that He is made famous.
The more broken I am, the more beautiful He proves to be.
Being broken and admitting weakness is P A I N F U L. There's another word for this. It's SURRENDER.
How quickly I forget His faithfulness in my willingness to surrender.
How often I spill my fear of people giving up on me in my weakness into a fear of Jesus giving up on me.
The Truth is that He died, sacrificed everything, and took the world's brokenness upon Himself so that He could know my shattered heart and help mend it back together again.
So I'm choosing to rejoice in my brokenness. My prayer is that He will take my shattered heart, my dying body, and my distorted mind, and He will heal them into something NEW. Something that looks a whole lot different than before. Something a whole lot like HIM.
2 Corinthians 12:9 "Each time He said, 'My grace is all you need. My power is made perfect in your weakness.' So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me."
Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago."
If HE is the Master, I have to give Him EVERY shattered piece of me. Only He can piece together bit by bit, something brand new and beautiful.... until it becomes His m a s t e r p i e c e
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