As I sat there and sang to Him, my eyes were closed and my arms were open. Worship and Peace flowing throughout the other. Suddenly I let out a startled gasp when someone gently grabbed my arm. It was my new friend Rae who I had met just about an hour earlier. The only thing she knew about me was my name and that I was from Ohio.
She had walked from one end of the room to the other just to say:
"Hannah, The Holy Spirit just told me something about you. As I looked up and saw your arms reaching out, while you worshiped, I saw how big your heart was; and that God made your arms just as big as your heart. Your arms were made to reach around countless children who need hope and love. You were made to be a mother to many. Whatever dream God has promised you, it WILL come to pass. I don't know if that means something to you, but I had to tell you."
Ensue the tears. When God answers THAT clearly, there's not much else you can do but just burst out in joyful laughter.
How else could she know that about me? That my biggest dream is to rescue children and show them hope and love? Because God told her. I held so tightly to His clear and undeniable promise as I continued to worship with tears of joy streaming down my sunburned cheeks.
But He wasn't done yet.
The Pastor set up a time for us to ask God what He thought about us. Because I have deep scars and wounds in this area from other people, I was hesitant to ask. What if I didn't hear anything and my painful fears got pounded deeper into my heart? But I did it anyway, and rather than hearing an answer, my blackened, shut eyelids immediately saw this:
The last picture I took of the sunset from the night prior. One of the pinkest, fluffiest, most beautiful cloudy skies I had ever seen. I couldn't get the image off my brain, and then all the pictures I've ever taken of a sunset started to flood my memory. I was like Jesus, no, haha, I want to know what you think about ME.
Then the clearest voice hit my heart:
"That IS what I think of when I think of you. I see a sunset."
More tears. Every sunset has always spoken to my heart in a special way. I've always felt loved through the dripping pinks and purples, and I've always felt held by the beauty bursting from the warm orange sunshine. If you follow me on Instagram, you know about my obsession with sunsets.
After that sweet voice and answer given to me by the painter of each sunset, He decided to make sure I believed it. A different girl named Jen who I had just met from across the room walked up to me, hugged me, and said:
"I just feel like I need to tell you that Jesus is so PROUD of all of your pictures that you post on Instagram".
She had no clue why she told me that. But my eyes lit up with joy and I burst into laughter. What does my Instagram feed consist of?
Sunsets.
Not only does Jesus look at me and see a sunset, but he's PROUD of what He sees?
Wow.
It's extremely hard to accept that if you've been scarred and been told and shown otherwise. That you're nothing more than a gross, unlovable and worthless human being. I don't know what your past looks like, or what lies you've believed. But I promise you that Jesus wants to PROVE to you that you ARE WORTH loving-- because you are His child-- and you captivate Him more than anything upon this Earth.
God will stop at nothing to prove his faithfulness to you and remind you who you are. Let Him catch up to you. I challenge you to ask Him what He thinks when He thinks of you. It might just surprise you or change your entire life.
Because when you know what HE thinks, what others think stops being so important to you. Their brands and opinions and abuse no longer speak your worth. Their inability to protect you, love you, or cherish you no longer measure your ability to be protected, loved or cherished. God's arms are endless, his love has no bounds, and his beautiful thoughts about you are greater than the stars in the sky.
Because when He looks at you who are His child, He sees NO dirt, NO stains, NO sin, NO hopelessness, NO screw-up, NO stamp of being unlovable, NO imperfection...
He sees something beautiful-- something worth dying for-- something worth treasuring-- something worth holding-- something worth keeping safe--something worth loving-- something SO MUCH MORE than typical-- something with worth beyond measure-- something He will stop at absolutely nothing to know.
Not just someTHING, but someONE. Someone with a NAME. That name is Daughter. That name is Son. You.
Let Him love you. You are worth it.
If you don't take my word for it, ask Him; and take His.
-Han
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