Hurricane may be a better way to describe the downpour outside this huge glass window. Something about thunderstorms and rainstorms puts my heart at a slow and steady pace. This is the first day in a long time I have any kind of free time to be STILL-- to just BE.
Even though there are still some major things that need answers, I find peace in this little red booth while looking out at the millions of tiny splashes against the concrete. As I dwell in how far God has taken me, I keep coming back to this to be true:
He will always, ALWAYS, take care of me.
Although His provision doesn't always mirror my request, it ends up filling a multitude of other needs I didn't even know I had. He is a God who goes beyond the extra mile-- who reaches through literal time and space to show how much He loves you.
He teaches while He answers.
His answers sometimes look like more questions. But that's how Jesus always answered people wasn't it? With another question that made them examine their hearts.
I believe the Father operates in the same fashion.
When things seem to be going awry, and we ask Him when things will get better, or why things are not going as planned, or how He will "fix" the situation, rather than answering those questions, He asks US these questions:
"Will you trust me anyway?"
"What do you really believe?"
"Where is your faith?"
"Why are you afraid?"
"Who are you really putting your hope in?"
"What are you really living for?"
"Even in this place, will you believe that I am good?"
Where we want answers, He has questions. It may seem counterproductive, but it's quite the opposite. Our answers to HIS questions will lead us to HIS answer for OUR question. It will force us to examine our hearts, and ask ourselves what we truly want.
All of us come to Jesus wanting more FROM Him or more OF Him.
His questions reposition our hearts of "from" to "of"'. Because He knows the only answer we really need is more of Himself. Not a better spouse or a better job or a nicer house or a bigger paycheck or a set plan for our future. All others answers will leave us empty and raise more questions.
I did the Incline with a few friends a couple of nights ago. Every time I climb the oxygen-sucking and muscle-burning steps, I find new life parallels to the exhausting adventure. This time, the weather was super strange. It was one giant foggy cloud all around us and we couldn't see more than ten feet in front of us. This became extremely frustrating about halfway through because we wanted to know how much further we had until the top. But it ended up getting even cloudier and harder to see the farther up we climbed.
Then I realized how much that was like God's journey for us. He knows if we could SEE the top--how far we had to go, or what we would have to overcome, we would be completely overwhelmed and ready to give up. He only shows us what He knows we need in the moment. Because each step makes us stronger and equips us for the next to come.
And each step is part of His plan to get us closer to the top. Each step is it's own battle to be overcome. The fog will clear as we move forward, but our faith is what will keep us going.
Each step is a new choice to worry, or to trust. Worry has always proved useless. Don't get me wrong, I do it every time an answer is not there; but God ALWAYS, always comes through. Every time.
Rather than filling that in between with worry and fear and doubt, God asks us to fill it with FAITH.
He asks us to answer HIM about our disbelief and doubt.
You will get there if you keep climbing one way or another. He is there if you stumble, and He won't let you fall.
Even when the fog is at it's thickest, He is still at His brightest. He only does what He knows will best get you where you are meant to be... closer to His heart and nearer to your purpose.
1 Corinthians 13:7
"Love never gives up, never loses faith, never loses hope, and always endures through every circumstance."
Because God IS love, He is ALL that love encompasses. He never gives up on you, never loses faith in you, never loses hope in you, and will help you endure through every circumstance.
You are His child, and your name is now Love. You never have to give up, lose faith, or lose hope. You can always endure through every circumstance, every step, and every unanswered question. Because Love is in you, Love is with you, Love is holding you, Love is waiting for you at the top, Love is leading you and Love will never quit on you.
-Han
"This happened because Abraham believed in the God who brings the dead back to life and who creates new things out of nothing. Even when there was no reason for hope, Abraham kept hoping—"
Romans 4:17-18
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